Pulse

Phone calls are generally bad news.
phone calls in my life have ranged from bad to worse, starting at the love of my life is leaving the family, long drawn out wish you were here calls where there was often more noise and less words, phone calls to tell me I broke someones heart, calls to say I am a bitch and have no friends, calls letting me know a friend OD'ed three days ago, calls from an ex in jail..and really theres been so many more

Those are bad, but calls telling me that I am what keeps you going is by far more damaging.
Being God is allot to put on anyone, it's definitely more then I can handle..I cannot be any ones sole source of hope.
I want to help you, but if what you really think you need is me, then eventually I will let you down..and I'm going to take all the blame for that on my self.

Do you know how guilty I feel already, how much I know I should have or could have done by just sacrificing another small piece of me
I just didn't have enough left to give, I was spread out too thin, and now I became used to not needing you.

There are times when you don't need me either, times where we think of each other and are just pleased for the other..then the floor drops out and I get another phone call
I pull the past around me like a shroud and try to give you what you need..but in the end, just like your needles, I am poison.