Capricorn the rock

Decisions have always been easy for me to make, living with them usually a little less so.

Perhaps it's the Scorpio's tendency, but I find that to protect myself from a bad investment, I am quite able to turn my heart off and go on solely by brain until the crisis has receded and I no longer feel the need to hide.
Heart is all good and well up to the point of decision making, but when theres a choice that will change my life, a choice between love and what I feel is right or better for my future, I inevitably start feeling smothered, like I'm against a wall.
The feelings of the other and they're needs start to weigh in, and the more I pull away the tighter they hang on, refusing the one thing I ask..space.
I feel the warmth of your presence to closely on my skin, your breath on my back, feel like I can't get air, and in those moments or days, love quickly turns to disgust as my instinct to live and be free kicks in.


I imagine this is both a blessing and a curse, being that following my heart is definitely a back burner over what I feel is a responsibility.
For sure I miss golden opportunities sometimes, but I also have a greater focus and greater loyalties to what and/or who I've dedicated my self and my heart to.

I can be flaky in my relationships, I drift away from time to time, dividing myself.
But you know the way it will end, you've waited for me, because of this you and I love each other more, and are better for it.
I love and thank you for being my stability

"Sunshine for shadows
In long suffering, quiet care
will catch those tears though it's not fare
may bend to break and save her pain
while knowing it will be back again
Has tied the ocean to the coast
and it's he who loves her most"