My Perfect match

* has a girl friend, it's odd, I'm happy for him, cause I hear he's happy
but I feel like an old wound has just ruptured. It's so deep and silent
The only way to express it is to spend the night out walking down a long straight road with only the street lights for company
I feel cold and quite, like the tears have gone internal and are bumping of the windshield wipers of my heart
It's his birthday this Saturday, he'll be on his way home ..I was going to phone him
I don't think I will now, it's not out of anger, I am really genuinely pleased for him
I'm happy that he's happy
it's this distant memory of something that used to be everything to us that seems to be slowly striped and now we're down to our socks.
I want to carry the memory of the emotions and each moment we had together ..I don't want it to fade, I don't want to let go.
I always want to feel the pain of knowing how I love him.
it makes us alive, and makes you more real to me then the years would say you really are.
I know we've both changed, both for the better and the worse, but I've made a copy of you that I carry with my heart
in so many ways you'll always be with me
and when I think of me I think of you

a friend of mine dedicated a song to her lover. she said it all perfectly.

"Good bye my lover, good bye my friend. You have been the one, you have been the one for me"