Comrades fall by the way side, and sometimes I feel like I'm trying alone to stave off the wishy washyness that seems inevitable.
I know people generally like being known...but what I find hardest about being real is just that "being known".
Will I continue to be myself, will I become predictable? will people say.."oh I know her"...yuck god forbid.
I'm starting to realize why people think I'm a snob..it's true, I pick my friends which is probably why I have almost non..it's true that sometimes people don't seem worth my time, not because my time is more special then anyone else's..but simply cause it's mine and I'm selfish that way. ( so I can be honest about my faults..be happy)
People whether through gossip or what have you have decided I am a bitch..I hear whispers of it, I catch it going around at a fellowship..people even add me to they're messenger to let me how what a horrid woman I am.
You know what's strange? most of you people who hate me haven't met me.
I'm not really a bad person..I'm normal, I haven't even slept with an unusual amount of men, I haven't broken a marriage or relationship, and even those that do always seem to get a second chance.
It's ouchy, nothing I can't handle, but still..
A while back someone even told me in an angry rage that I was a slut and a bitch and I didn't love the lord.
That I didn't love the lord was probably the worst so far.
I may have had to even talk to someone to get over that and I may have stayed in my room for a day or so.
You people who spread this crap..you're the whores.
I'm quiet and alone, I keep to myself, and I'm no one worth your time in words.
no one is perfect and I've loved and lost..handled things badly , been rejected and rejected people.
For christ sake where's your christian charity?
You say I'm a bitch like thats a bad thing..but secretly thats how you desired it
If I'm a bitch it's cause you wanted me to be, not because it was the way you found me.
5 comments:
Once again, I don't know you. I probably never will.
But if anything is clear on this blog, it is that you DO love the Lord. There are plenty of other things that are cryptic, unexplainable, or whatever. But your love for God is plain and clear.
One would have to be blind not to see.
who cares what others say or think! just be urself and stay true to the lord... in the words of another---nothing else matters!
to all to whom u're a bitch, you finally offer the chance to add whiny to that description :P may they be humbled by your generosity
why thanks stef, your a real pal
Ok well, I love you :) Here fellow comrade lets have a hug!!
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