Point and laugh

tonight I cried while watching this pathetic touching Christian drama..you know one of those (fun for the whole family wannabe things)
It was horrible, I felt my throat getting tight, my eyes welling up and all I could say as I drew huge ragged breaths was," I hate myself, I hate myself"...and possibly as an after thought, "thank god no one is in the room to watch me".
ugg, yuck and eww, it's been coming on for a while now.
Every now and then I get this huge overwhelming need to burst out into noisy weeping.
So far I was feeling pretty smug with myself at handling these outbursts with calm Spock like logic.
I'd ask myself why I needed to cry? What was making me feel sad?..inevitably the answer was " I don't know", and so I refused to cry for this "no reason" need.
God I'm so knocked up, pregnancy is a bitch