The obituary of my spotless mind

My life is too logical, my dreams are simply that, my dreams.
Yes I dream in my haunted house, and I've never set anyone free.
It's the Chinese grave yard and I'm queen.
Yes, I'm queen Mab...and when I am forgotten I won't exist.

One wise Miller once said "it's Sophie, you don't love her, you just fuck her".
I didn't want to except it, I should have.
Yes I am too logical, not in the normal sense, but in my own way.
Sure I can have my own logic, why not?
I won't wear red because it's too sexy, if I wear makeup I won't wear jewelry cause it will attract too much attention.
If people stare at me I will start eating my lipstick off.,well I'll eat it of no matter what really.
But why do I do this... this isn't the attention I want.
Sophie doesn't want to be the girl that just gets fucked.
I would like to be someone that makes you think better of yourself without making me the end all bitch.
I want to be able to touch your face to hold you, and for you to know that it's just a gift from god, it's his love not mine.
My love is sick and twisted.
I can't ever have sex with anyone else, I can't ever love, because my love doesn't last.
Heres my disgusting heart open.
I want a new lover after 10 days... after 10 days they don't excite me anymore.
Oh it isn't pretty I know, but it's nice how some people can conveniently forget.
Forget Sophie, forget, your love will be Bullshit in two years time..your two young to really feel and know.
When it comes to love we are all young.
Wish you weren't so proud or so sensitive.. but we all have discovered nothing has satisfied, and those life long dreams don't come true.
How can you live Sophie, how can have such apathy.
well ...maybe Miller did teach me something.

Because your angry you can say I am mean, because you are angry you can insult me and then say.."I didn't mean it that way and you know it".
Well surprise!!!
I don't know it.
I won't excuse myself for my insults, I won't say "but you understand me no?"
Cause I know you don't...I hate that you get angry over misunderstandings and my playful cynicism..I hate that you can correct me but won't take it from me at all.
I feel I deserve it.. but no you can't give it to me.

My mom told me not to change your man, well you aren't "my man" but the point remains.

Do I give leeway because I expect some in return.. well yes I guess I do.
I don't think I put the door knob too high.
Is it too low?
Please take the time to stoup to my door, I carry around a box with me where ever I go just to reach yours.