Rememberance

I remember when you were a snob
I remember that in my lack of knowing I misjudged you
I remember your apologies and mine
I remember getting to know you
I remember your corrections
I remember your memories
I remember your tears
I remember the fights and the way I couldn't stop untill it was resolved
I remember your faces and your touch
I remember your busy silence
I remember the ackward meeting
I remember shouting and walking away
I remember worrying
I remember watching your masks
I remember watching you leave
I remember going over these memories looking for reasons
I remember trying to explain
I remember being angry
Im talking to you now, you tell me I was silent and friends don't do that.
you tell me I hurt you
I agree with the latter
I have not been silent, maybe Im not a tyipical friend, maybe this isn't the tyipical responce. maybe what I am is the only kind of friend I know how to be.
why can't you understand and really see me.
Not as a scary person, as a child, who sometimes makes mistakes, who doesn't allways know how to fix them.
Some one who thought you needed space.
now I see that what you need if for me to take the blame for now and just answer your questions as best I can, be compasionet, and I am, I desperatly cry for you and with you.
I try to understand you and I hope I do at least more than some people.

In your pain you lash out in honesty, you make new friends, you find new passion.
you hurt me

but I still remember